TSE Rap
You and I
Ethereized in the corner both
Sippin pabst and greygoose
Gregor samsa’s there too
To help me out with a problem exponential:
Just another one to me, a crisis existential
(Oh, and the problem:
Please don’t ask “What is it ”?
Please, come on
Let’s go make our visit)
I’mma spit an april verse, for
It’s the cruelest, cruelest, worst
In only 3 years I became an ‘09 Harvard Graduate
Married six years later
Then separated, remained celibate
Until Valerie Fletcher became Valerie Eliot
But I’ve the swagger of a Prufrock:
Disappointed with the future
And worried ‘bout my bald spot
I mean, I’m an intellectual, I’m not much of a looker
(By the way, was Prufrock’s audience a hooker?)
But back to my first wife Vivienne
She went crazy, but I stuck with her
Even when she went institutional
But something great came out of that crucible
My crowning achievement: I’d written “The Wasteland”
I couldn’t believe it!
It almost wasn’t published
The ship would have run aground
If it wasn’t for my bestie Ezra Pound
(No Homo: I’m Anglican)
So I was crowned the king of modernism:
The Nobel was my victory lap
Now I’ve got more awards than
Cougar girls who’ve got the clap
But what is modernism?
A response to works before:
Brontë sisters are long winded
Dostoyevsky is a bore
Instead I choose to chop up time
And spit it right back at you
Modern man is basically evil
But allusion will always do you true
And I even helped pave the way for
Pynchonesque Postmodernism:
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity
He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity…